Should I Do It?
by TheRestOfUs
Summary: I look towards the tree outside. Staring at it as in calls for me to do it. "Do it Stewie, do it".


**A/N: Hey guys. This is my first Family Guy fanfiction. I've never been a 'fan' as such but I do enjoy the show. I was inspired to write a FG fanfiction when I read a really good one earlier this week. Also, I do LOVE Stewie, he's amazing, and certain episodes make me think.**

**Disclaimer: Well, I don't own the characters in this fanfiction or the show; **Seth MacFarlane does, err, I think.****

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><p><strong><em><span>Stewies POV<span>_**

I look towards the tree outside. Staring at it as in calls for me to do it.

"Do it Stewie, do it".

My eyes are swollen, like always. At no time do I ever catch a break. I've tried, really I have. Have I really turned into this freak?

I thought all my life that I'd become some body, that would at least acomplish something I had hoped for. But here I am, standing outside crying like a baby. Why is it that when I WAS a baby I was somewhat more like an adult but now, 16, I act so much more like a child.

I look towards my wrist and glare at my scars. I though I was better then this. Dressed in black, eye liner pencil scratched across my eyes fading though and dripping down my cheek. They call me a bloody emo. Am I? Or am I just terribly fucked up? I used to be popular, I used to have friends but I lost it all when I came out. When I told everyone I was gay.

I was 13 when I did, I had told Brian though when I was only just one years old. I had always known and wasn't ashamed of it. Brian didn't care either, he had a gay cousin and wasn't going to judge me for it. I guess Brian was my first crush you know? Pfft, I was only a child, I didn't understand that dating a dog was, well, GROOOOSSSS! But still, he was a good enough friend at least. He's gone now, ate some chocolate out of the garbage but that's fine. Stupid dog.

A tear rolls down my face as I said that. Stupid? He wasn't at all stupid god dammit! See? I've become this emotional pussy! Usually death of a dog just doesnt bother me but now?

I told my parents next, well my whole family actually. At dinner. Dad was pretty cool with it, as was Meg; Mom however, she wanted grandchildren and told me in front of everyone that she thought I would make something of myself and turn out better then the others. Well, usually that doesn't bother me either, I was used to kinda being the favourite, and Meg had always been used to being let down and treated badly. Chris however? Well he despised me from then on. He grew up, met a nice girl and got married, he's now a cop. It's brilliant. I'm happy for him, but if only he was happy for me too?

Believe it or not but Meg became really close with me. We told eachother everything and she really spoke to me. I knew she cut herself too and I knew that what she had been through wasn't what anyone should go through. Dad ended up leaving Mom and moving away to live near Cleveland. He's happy now I think. Mom just changed, they called it 'Bipolar', I wish Dad had taken me too.

Meg ended up committing suicide last year, her tiny broken heart couldn't take it much longer. I really couldn't blame her. After Dad moved away Meg was practically ignored. Mom started heavily drinking, gambeling and sleeping around. She turned into a monster. I couldn't explain it, unless you've lived with a person who had bipolar you wouldn't understand it.

I just want to run away, to see Dad... or Brian. At school is a nightmare too. I am treated like an animal, like a nobody. Just because I'm gay doesn't make me emotionless. I am not some robot you can mistreat. I sit quietly alone in the library every day; something I swore I'd never end up doing in my spare time. My grades are slipping and I've been kicked off the football team for literally being 'gay'. My only friend was my boyfriend 'Alex'. He was a kid I myself used to beat up for being a 'fag', it was just me in denial I guess. He was also kinda emo, but I was also very attracted to him. Altough a nerd, he wasn't ugly, he was so hot, so lovely. I fell for him hard when he picked me up off that hallway floor after getting my assed kicked.

Then, one day, as I was walking through the school gates he wasn't there. He had promised to meet me there in that one spot before school so we didn't have to face the bullies alone. I waited, and waited and he never showed up. I called him, I texted him, nothing. Until the principal approached me and told me that he was in a car accident the night before and had passed away.

I couldn't take it! I couldn't understand why! I never dated again...

And now, here I am, staring at the tree outside of the back of my house. Should I? I really think I should.

Grabbing a plastic chair I placed it under a strong tree branch that I had earlier tied a rope around. I am kinda a science nerd and I know the exact place to tie the knot so that as soon as I jump my neck will snap and I won't have to suffer any longer.

I stand on the chair, shaking, wondering if I should just do it. I close my eyes and breathe but as I open them I see them. I see Meg, Brian and Alex. They are smiling at me, holding out there hands. That's when I knew... I had already jumped.

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><p><strong>AN: Well, there you have it. It's my first FG fanfiction remember? Please read and review, I will not continue with Family Guy if I havn't many reviews.**


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